


do i love you, oh i do

by smileybagel



Series: ninety-five year old hipsters [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Music, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-20 00:17:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1489708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileybagel/pseuds/smileybagel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>their whole lives can be told in the span of an hour, but it lasts about ninety years for them</p>
            </blockquote>





	do i love you, oh i do

**Author's Note:**

> All of the songs mentioned are by The Civil Wars, from their self-titled album. I highly recommend listening to it and having the lyrics close by to read along. I actually just realized how much some of the songs relate to Steve/Bucky, and so this happened. A happy fic will be posted next.

It takes some time for them to realize that one of their favorite modern era bands represents a majority of their relationship. Bucky notices first, his hands faltering and dropping the knife he was tossing around to the floor. It thuds on the hardwood paneling, the metallic clang echoing in the living room of Steve's floor at the Avenger's tower and alerting the only other occupant to a possible problem. Steve, who is sitting on the couch watching a baseball game as Bucky practiced his knifework behind him, mutes the television and leans back to look at his partner.

"Something wrong?" He's worried, but he tries not to let it show in the tremor of his voice. Bucky is too skilled with knives to let one drop like that, even out of his Winter Soldier mode.

"I was thinking..." The ex-Hydra assassin trails off, then bends to pick up the fallen knife. He throws it in the general direction of the dart board they have propped up on a wall. It hits three centimeters from the bulls-eye but no one is paying attention enough to care.

"...about?" Steve is practically climbing off the couch to get to Bucky at this point, both of his hands planted on the back of it like he's ready to vault off of it. Bucky beats him to it, and jumps over the back of the couch to land on the cushions, shifting his weight just so that makes his landing gentle, rather than heavy like his weight and build would suggest. He sits there as Steve turns to him, eyes staring ahead at the television where the game continues silently, and hands clenched in his lap. Instead of answering Steve, Bucky looks up to the ceiling and calls out to Tony's AI.

"Jarvis, play _Same Old Same Old_ for us, please."

"As you wish, Mister Barnes." Steve furrows his brows at the request, then lets a small smile curl up on his lips as the beginning melodies carry over the speakers. The television switches off, probably Jarvis again, and the stereo system they have lights up with the information from the band, which album the song is from, and how long the song lasts.

"I thought you were more into heavy stuff right now?"

"Just shut up and listen to the lyrics, Stevie."

A bit put-off by Bucky's attitude, but no longer worried so much, Steve shrugs and leans back against the couch cushions, letting the music wash over him. It's a slow song, and each of the vocalists have a soothing voice that makes it easy to forget about everything else. He closes his eyes, and listens.

_I want to leave you_  
 _I want to lose us_  
 _I wanna give up_  
 _But I won't_  
 _I wanna miss this_  
 _I want a heartache_  
 _I wanna run away_  
 _But I won't_  
 _Do I love you_  
 _Oh I do_

Something clicks in Steve, and he feels something pulling at his heart, but the realization that Bucky made isn't there yet. He keeps listening, keeps looking for the deeper meaning in the lyrics, but it isn't until the ending verses that he gets it. He understands.

_But if you think that I can stay_  
 _In this same old same old, well_  
 _I don't_  
 _I don't wanna fight_  
 _But I'll fight with you_  
 _If I have to_  
 _If I have to_  
 _Do I love you_  
 _Oh I do_  
 _And I'm going to till' I'm gone_

"Buck, I-"

"Hush up." Steve sighs and lets a hand rest on Bucky's thigh, rubbing circles into his leg with his thumb, and Bucky lets his hand cover Steve's, and he squeezes. He's looking at the television again, even though there's no picture now, and the song ends. Another one from the same album starts, and Bucky squeezes Steve's hand again. They sit there listening to it, Steve leaning to rest his head on Bucky's shoulder, and then Bucky is running the fingers of his metal hand through Steve's hair, messing up the slicked-back style he had going. He turns to press a kiss to his forehead, silent in the noise of the music.

_You've held your head up_  
 _You fought the fight_  
 _You bear the scars_  
 _You've done your time_  
 _Listen to me_  
 _You've been lonely too long_  
 _Let me in the walls_  
 _You've built around_  
 _We can light a match_  
 _And burn them down_  
 _Let me hold your hand and dance 'round and 'round the flames_

They sit through the whole album three times, silent and mulling over the lyrics together. Not every song describes them, but a majority of the album does a pretty good job of rehashing the events of their lives, even though it wasn't the songwriters' intention. By the time Steve calls out to Jarvis to stop the music, there are tears in his eyes. They've been over their problems a million times by now and buried many of them in the dirt, but that doesn't stop them from remembering, from being affected by stupid lyrics that do stupid things to their hearts. Steve turns and cradles Bucky's faces in hands, finally forcing the soldier to look him in the eyes.

Their kiss is slow, meaningful, and full of emotion they thought they had put behind them. The guilt, the anger, the worry, the resentment, and longing for the simpler times of their past, before the war, before the decades they missed. They fall into bed and spend the rest of the afternoon, the night, and the early morning of the next day exploring each other like they did when Bucky first regained his memories. They don't fuck, they make love, and they take their time in worshiping the other like some deity that only they bother to praise.

When they look at each other later that morning over a plate of breakfast, Bucky lifting of cup of coffee to his lips and Steve pausing in his act of slicing up ham, they share a smile, a kiss, and move on. Another hurdle passed, another day conquered.


End file.
